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But, now, be them imperfect, or poorly written, or too profusely spume out, here they are, leading somewhere... anywhere. No, not just anywhere, to the center of my ideas, my needs, my hopes, my ability to somehow accept who I am, and to move through it, into something new. Because, that is all life really is, a dense, fascinating, hard felt ride through waves of deepening and transforming self understandings and realities. We are made of many many things in life as we move through it. And, in the end, if there is an end, all we have is what we have done or wish we had done. All the words in the world can only lead to something that makes us feel. Feel numb or alone or hurt or weak or insane or wild or violent or frozen or terrified or secure or deeply loved or motivated to produce and help people, it is all feelings. Feelings come into existence and pass.. like cuming hard. But, the best feelings lead to others that take us to places which are interesting, and make us feel good about. Each time she babysat, she hoped that he would take her again, but after a year, she was losing hope. Then the phone rang, Michael on the other end, not Elisa.“I was wondering if you could babysit tonight, Gail. Elisa is out of town and I have an important meeting to attend.”It wasn’t a question, more of a command and Gail didn’t hesitate. Especially since Elise was out of town. Maybe her chance for another night with Michael would happen. “I’d be glad to. What time?” Her voice was trembling in anticipation and arousal.“Seven, I wouldn’t be very late.” He hung up without a response. He turned to his son, Jeremy. “She’ll be here tonight, Jeremy.”He was afraid. Jeremy was nothing like his father, more like his mother. When he told her what he planned to do, he couldn’t believe his ears. He was afraid, but he tried to hide it from his father. He was sure that he was already disappointed by him. He wanted to please his father so much.Michael smiled when he saw her. She was dressed in a.
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